The quiet guy dropped a wisdom bomb

Over 20 years ago, a guy who didn’t say much gave a group instant clarity in 30 seconds of speaking. 

What he said was so helpful, it inspired me to recreate the experience he had then for you, now. At the bottom of this post, I’ll describe what I’ll share with you.

Here’s what started it all….

I was afraid everyone would be bored. 

In my first training to become a coach, I was required gather a group and teach them what I was learning  For two hours every two weeks, a dozen curious people met to discuss the coaching topic I was trying to learn.

I barely understood it myself, so I wasn’t sure I could hold their attention. 

But to my surprise, they kept showing up.

People derived some mysterious value from the experience, though I didn’t understand what it was. 

Finally, I asked them.

“You’re all so busy. Why do you keep showing up?”

Jim, a tech leader who was a quiet one in the group, responded immediately. 

“That’s easy. I can tell you why I never miss this meeting.

Every week, I live the same rushed routine…. I’m up early, eat breakfast, ride the train into the city, attend meetings all day, ride the train home, eat dinner, and go to bed. I repeat it the next day. I spend much of my weekends preparing for the next week or catching up on work. 

I’m always in motion. Nowhere in my life do I simply reflect. Except for when I’m with this group.

But I know that for these two hours, I’m going to have time to step back and reflect. Honestly, I don’t care what we talk about. I just know I need it.”

When everyone around you is doing something, it can become invisible. 

When people listened to Jim, they saw themselves. They said, “Wow, that’s true for me, too.” 

Finally, I understood.

Every person there was a high achiever and was great at staying in action. 

But these discussions were filling a gap no one had articulated until Jim named it for us.

Jim’s the canary in the coal mine. 

There’s not a leader I’ve coached who doesn’t struggle with this challenge. But in their busy-ness, it’s easy to neglect what’s important.

Staying in motion is critical for success. But you already know that action without clear purpose and direction can create as much frustration as success.

Recently I asked myself: Why not create an experience like Jim then had for YOU, NOW? 

Leaders talk about their challenges with me, every day. Let me give you a chance to think about some of those for yourself, aka, reflecting. 

We’ll start with this universal leadership challenge: 

How do you focus on what’s important and not be consumed by the urgencies of the moment?

My next post will will invite you to create solutions to this “urgent and important” challenge. We can learn from each other, and breakthroughs will probably happen.

I’m inventing this process as it goes, just like I did with the group Jim was in. 

It’ll start with a direct dialogue between you and me. It works when we show up curious and ready to learn.