The Vacation Revelation – my guidance to clients

Before my clients leave for vacation, I’ll often remind them of what’s possible. 

With minimal preparation and some light attention during their time away from work, they can give themselves the gift of revelation.

The distraction is the way!

The Stoics are right: the obstacle is the way. They’re just not always right. Sometimes, you need to step away.

Stepping away from the problem doesn’t mean your unconscious mind has stopped working on it. e.g., you’ve had breakthrough insights while taking a shower or commuting to work.

My favorite example of “the distraction is the way”:

Scott left work early to hit the waves at Malibu Beach. As he slammed the door on his beat-up Land Cruiser to pull his surfboard off the roof, he realized he’d locked his keys in the ignition. Aaaargh! 

Scott knew how his mind worked. Rather than stare at the problem for the next hour, he stuck to his plan. He asked his mind to work on the problem, then immersed himself in riding the waves. 

He gave the problem no attention. As he returned to the parking lot, the solution arose in his mind. He was back in his car in minutes….and he still got to enjoy the waves.  

The distraction (aka, total immersion in surfing) was the way.

Hyper focusing can be hyper frustrating.

Intense effort has carried the day so many times that we forget it’s not the only solution. Too often, we stare at the problem in front of us, hoping that grit alone will produce the breakthrough solution that’s eluded us. 

But that’s just one way to solve a problem. 

Solutions often arise when we’re looking elsewhere. Almost like magic, you suddenly see/feel/think/hear something that clicks. Or maybe it’s a series of little ideas that randomly land in your lap. Sometimes, it’s a confirmation to trust your gut. 

One moment you’re mystified. The next moment you’re clarified. 

How to have your vacation cake and eat it, too.

If you want step by step guidance, here are three easy steps to help you produce your Vacation Revelations. 

Step 1: Give your unconscious mind a clear task –  As you’re shutting down for vacation, identify a problem/challenge that has you stymied. Turn the problem into a question. It’s probably going to start with the words “how” or “what.” e.g., “How can……” “What if……” “What am I overlooking…..”  Reduce it to one succinct question. 

Ask your mind to focus on answering this question. Literally make a request of your mind as if you’re talking to a wise mentor who wants to help you. Then, consciously let go of the problem.

Step 2: Distract yourself – Distract yourself in positive ways. Totally immerse yourself in your vacation. Be 100% with the people around you. Dive fully into the activities. Do things that consume you, even luxurious naps. 

Don’t do two things: A. Don’t keep going back to the problem. Trust that your unconscious mind is working on it. B. Don’t distract yourself in numbing ways like doomscrolling on social media or mindlessly eating ALL of the cookies on the plate. “Distract” yourself in the present, like Scott stayed present on his surfboard.

Step 3: Be a satellite dish – Stay open to receive ideas, but don’t obsess about finding a solution. The more effort you put into gaining insights, the less likely you’ll receive the signals. Give it just 0.1% of your awareness.

Allow connections to happen….a random comment your friend makes, a storyline in a movie, a metaphor someone uses….. a series of small insights can be as valuable as one mega idea.

When you receive something that might be useful, write it down or record it, then move on. Don’t dive back into the problem because your unconscious mind might hear that as “I can quit now.”

Stay immersed in your vacation. You can return to your insights when you return to work.